How can I say goodbye, when all I want to do is say hello? How can I smile, when all I want to do is cry? How can I be so angry, when I know you are at peace? How can I breathe when every breath has deserted me? Yesterday brought home the finality of our situation, and whilst there is anger and pain in my every pore, seeing you one last time, I knew you were at peace. Not once did you complain about pain, but I could see it in your eyes – the Ninja was sticking his knives in and giving them one last twist. Your blog has had more of an impact than you will ever know. It has helped others who find themselves on a similar path. It is your legacy, and one of which I am incredibly proud. Thank you to everyone who took the time to share our brief journey. Thank you for the love which has been showered upon us. Thank you for caring…… Goodbye my love – I miss you.
MY NINJA ! 
Dear Julie, I don’t know about ‘better places’ the only consolationI can see is that his pain is over,
& the utter frustration you both must have felt. You were marvellous, you eased his final months at
such a shattering cost to you, mentally & physically. Please, pass my condolences to Carlios’s parents,
I can’t begin to know how they are feeling. One day the sun will shine again, you will bring out your
memories and smile. Until then, strength. Much love &hugs
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So glad you “completed” Carlos’ blog Jules. His posts sometimes painful to read in their rawness and honesty(equally funny too!) but an incredible legacy. Have been thinking about you constantly and am so pleased Jess and Andreas were there with you yesterday. I know Frances arrived tomorrow but here for you if you want to talk. Love and hugs Jude xx
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Well said, Julie. Stay strong
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Stay strong Julie there are so many people who you can talk to and those near to you will always be there for you. It is better for Carlos that he is at peace now, released from all that pain and suffering.
I admire your strength you are an incredible person.
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Wonderful words x
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E-mail
They Are Not Dead
They Are Not Dead – Unknown
They are not dead,
Who leave us this great heritage
Of remembered joy.
They still live in our hearts,
In the happiness we knew,
In the dreams we shared.
They still breathe,
In the lingering fragrance windblown,
From their favourite flowers.
They still smile in the moonlight’s silver
And laugh in the sunlight’s sparkling gold.
They still speak in the echoes of words
We’ve heard them say again and again.
They still move,
In the rhythm of waving grasses,
In the dance of the tossing branches.
They are not dead;
Their memory is warm in our hearts,
Comfort in our sorrow.
They are not apart from us,
But a part of us
For love is eternal,
And those we love shall be with us
Throughout all eternity.
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Thank you Margaret – that is beautiful XX
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What a loss Julie.
Wish you strength and all the Best.
Hope we’ll all meet again in the happy hunting grounds or wherever.
Cheers
Henning
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Reblogged this on chris450.
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Thank you Julie and Carlos, that I may have the privilege of being a part of this path.
Your lessons have brought me to new levels of understanding, compassion, acceptance and letting go, and what to really focus on
Julie and Jess, may you feel Carlos’ Spirit with you always, in he gentle breeze on your cheek, a soft flutter, a butterfly, a memory,and his presence just beyond the veil as he reaches out.
Be open to signals, be prepared, they bring SO much comfort…
❤
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I cried when the big C took my father,my 2 brothers and 2 sisters ,I cried for Carlos,I hope you get over your pain Julie…oneday the sun will shine again….<3 peace
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Julie, such lovely words and a fitting tribute to Carlos. His blog was an inspiration indeed. Remember all the good.
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Sending loads of love from us in Lisboa Jules. Your combined courage is astounding. If you need, simply shout. Thinking of you and your family. The Mad Rads. xxx
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Thinking of you. So much. Xxx
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When you, knowing the situation, proposed marriage to Carlos, I was totally in awe of your kindness and obvious strength. Your husband is a wonderful man, and his wit and humour is already sorely missed. Thank you for sharing the contents of your heart with us, Julie. Carlos is continuing on his safari, and I imagine with a chuckle at some of our ‘words’. Take care, Julie xx
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So sorry to hear the news. You are one fine woman Julie. Thank you for being there for Carlos.
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Hamba Kahle Carlos……. Much respect.
Vernon
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RIP Carlos, Great guy to work with, for the 3 years I was in Portugal you helped me a lot, Thanks And RIP to a great guy with a heart of gold
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